As an empath, giving freely comes naturally. Creating a safe space for understanding and considering others is a given. However, it is with this empathy that we can sometimes end up in circumstances where we’re giving more than we’re receiving - at our own expense. That’s why today’s blog post is about reciprocity.

Equal give and take within a mutually beneficial arrangement = reciprocity. If you’ve experienced it before, how do the same effort and consistency you give to someone else feel when it’s returned to you? Fulfilling, right? Contrastly, how does it feel when you consistently pour into others and not have it given back? For me, it feels like being depleted, going on empty.

In the past, I met someone who spoke about reciprocation that said “I hope you learn to pour into fountains instead of drains.” It hit me so deeply that I had to pause and reflect on all the ways I’d overextended myself for people who did not see me for who I am - more than what I could do for them. Years later, I learned this lesson again. Doing more will not guarantee you the same energy returned, especially if the people you are giving more to have grown comfortable receiving with no expectation or willingness to give back.

This is not to say that you cannot do kind things for people without wanting anything back, but after you’ve consistently given with no return on investment, what happens when you have nothing else to give? Will the people you’ve given to at the expense of yourself stay with you knowing they aren’t receiving from you anymore? Who are you outside of being someone they took from? You will never get water back from a drain, it goes into the void…but a fountain is ever flowing. A fountain won’t leave you parched, it brings in abundance and investment for all who give. A drain is someone you avoid, a fountain is someone you cherish.

And I hope you learn faster than I did to pour into fountains instead of drains.

With love, always.